JOHN MORAN

Detectives Ales and Towne entered the Orchard Creek Lodge at Sun City Lincoln Hills at 3pm on Monday, November 12, 2007, and found the suspect in the Library reading a newspaper. As they approached he looked up.

Det. Ales: “Are you John Moran?”

Moran: “Yes.”

Det. Ales: “You are under arrest. Towne, read him his Miranda rights.”

Moran: “Why are you arresting me?”

Det. Ales: “We’ll get to that. Towne, read him his rights.”

Det. Towne: “You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?”

Moran: “Yes, what did I do?”

Det Towne: “Anything you do say may be used against you on the LHSSL Web Site. Do you understand?”

Moran: “Yes.”

Det Towne: “You have the right to consult the LHSSL Board of Directors before speaking to the police and to have a Board Member present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand?”

Moran: “Yes, what did I do?”

Det Towne: “If you cannot afford a Board Member, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. Do you understand?”

Moran: “Yes.”

Det Towne: “If you decide to answer questions now without a Board Member present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to a Board Member. Do you understand?”

Moran: “Yes.”

Det. Towne: “Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer our questions without a Board Member present?”

Moran: “Yes, what do you think I did?”

Det. Ales: “You impersonated a LHSSL Manager, not once but twice.”

Det. Towne: “We’re not here to answer his questions. He’s here to answer ours. Let’s get on with it. Do you want to answer our questions here or are we going to have to take you down to the ballpark?”

Moran: “I’ll answer them here.”

Det. Ales: “Let’s start at the beginning. Where were you born?”

Moran: “Oakland.”

Det. Ales: “Tell us about your childhood there.”

Moran: “I don’t remember.”

Det. Towne: “You were born in Oakland, but you can’t tell us anything about your childhood there. What are you trying to cover up?”

Moran: “Nothing. I was born there, but when I was very, very young my father (an employee of PG&E) moved us to South San Francisco.

Det. Towne: “Likely story.”

Det. Ales: “Tell us what you did there?”

Moran: “There is nothing to do there, but nearby Colma is renowned for it cemeteries, a total of 17 including a famous Italian cemetery built in 1899.”

Det. Towne: “Now you’re bringing in the Italians. Is that supposed to scare us?”

Moran: “No, I’m just answering your questions.”

Det. Ales: “Who are Maureen and Kathleen?”

Det. Towne: “And can they attest to your ability to manage a softball team?”

Moran: “They are my younger sisters. Maureen is an executive assistant and lives in San Leandro and Kathleen is an RN in Oregon. They know nothing about me managing a softball team, but they can tell you that I had a normal California upbringing.”

Det. Towne: “Normal California upbringing, that’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one.”

Det. Ales: “Did you go to high school?”

Moran: “Yeah. I graduated from Serra High of San Mateo in 1965. We moved there when I was a sophomore. I did play some baseball when I was in high school.”

Det. Towne: “I suppose this made you think you could manage a softball team.”

Det. Ales: “You don’t have to badger the perp, he’s answering our questions. What did you do after you graduated?”

Moran: “I enrolled in business classes at the local JC in San Mateo. I spent a year there.”

Det. Towne: “We have no record of a business degree. What happened? Couldn’t you cut it, big shot?

Moran: “I discovered that business classes were not for me.”

Det. Ales: “What do you mean?”

Moran: “I couldn’t get the hang of economics. I sat through that class looking like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. I think I knew more about economics before I took the class than I did afterward.”

Det. Towne: “Now you’re trying to be funny.”

Moran: “No, just telling it like it was.”

Det. Ales: “What did you do next?”

Moran: “I enlisted in the Army and served as a MP at Fort Ord, White Sands Missile Range and for a year in Viet Nam. I finished my enlistment at the Presidio in San Francisco. While I was in the service I played in the Army fast pitch leagues.”

Det. Towne: “Now you’re trying to tell us that the Army trained you to manage a softball team?”

Moran: “No, I just said I played on their ball team.”

Det. Ales: “Go on.”

Moran: “I was honorably discharged in 1970 and decided to go back to college. A friend told me that the easy classes were in law enforcement and since I am always looking for the easy way to do things I enrolled in San Mateo JC and took those courses.”

Det. Towne: “Now he probably thinks he knows how to do our job.”

Det. Ales: “How did that work out for you?”

Moran: “After completing the course work, I was hired by the South San Francisco Police Department. This is a mid-sized force so I was able to experience all aspects of police work: patrolling, investigating, community outreach, etc. The hardest part of the job was staying awake on the night shift.

Det. Towne: “You’re telling us you were a COP?”

Moran: “Look lady.”

Det. Towne: “It’s not lady! It’s DETECTIVE TOWNE.”

Moran: “Okay DETECTIVE TOWNE. Yes, I was a COP. Want to make something of it?”

Det. Ales: “Okay, just calm down.”

Moran: “What is this good cop, bad cop?”

Det. Towne: “I still haven’t heard anything that makes me think that you can manage a softball team.”

Moran: “Well, I have 30 years of experience! Beginning in 1970 I played slo-pitch on rec teams in South City. Later on I played on a traveling team from the department for 15 years and on a 40 and over team in Redwood City. Finally I turned 51 and could play Senior Softball on the 50 Calibers out of Redwood City.”

Det. Towne: “Just how many of those teams did you manage?”

Moran: “Uhhh, none.”

Det. Ales: “Maybe your wife can shed some light on the matter. You do have a wife, don’t you?”

Moran: “Yes, in 1974 my life changed forever.”

Det. Ales: “How’s that?”

Moran: “I had been taking classes at the College of Notre Dame in San Mateo where a fellow student and friend told me his wife worked with a really nice lady at Pacific Telephone Company. A meeting was arranged and on September 6, 1975 Linda and I were married.”

Det. Ales: “What was this couples' name?”

Moran: “Mike and Joan Daley. They live here in Lincoln Hills now; and as our best friends are partly responsible for us moving here.”

Det. Ales: “We’ll get to that subject later. Right now tell us more about this life changing event.”

Moran: “After a couple of years we bought a house in Redwood City. Even though I worked nights and took classes to complete my degree in Behavioral Sciences (graduating in 1981) and she worked days we managed to have two children.”

Det. Ales: “Tell us about these two children, girls or boys?”

Moran: “Both girls, Erin and Jacquelyn. They both enjoyed playing softball in the Bobby Sox organization. Linda became a manager and I coached for her.”

Det. Towne: “So your wife was the manager, not you. Even Bobby Sox thought you couldn’t manage a team?”

Moran: “It was against their rules for men to manage a team.”

Det. Ales: “Go on.”

Moran: “I really liked organizing practices and coming up with drills that would improve their skills, but Linda would always challenge my choice of line-up.”

Det. Towne: “Now we’re getting somewhere. Not even your wife felt you could adequately manage a softball team.”

Moran: “Maybe you better take me down to the ball park and get me a Board Member before I answer any more questions.”

Det. Ales: “Towne, cool it! He’s trying to be cooperative. Let’s hear what he has to say.”

Moran: “Thank you, Detective Ales. Let’s see, where was I… oh yes, the girls. Erin continued her interest, playing a couple of years in high school. She has a terrific arm, once throwing out a runner at home plate from left field.”

Det. Towne to Det. Ales: “He probably thinks he taught her how to do that too.”

Moran: “Jackie didn’t play softball in high school, but stayed interested in physical fitness. She’s now a personal trainer in Belmont, living in the same apartment building where Linda lived when I met her. I think the girls both would say I have what it takes to manage a softball team.”

Det. Towne: “Yeah, sure get the kids to stand up for you.”

Moran: silence

Det. Ales: “Okay, back to how you came to move to Lincoln Hills.”

Moran: “Well, I had retired in 2003, but was too young to be satisfied sitting around so I worked for 2 years for Millbrae City Police and a year in the San Mateo Sheriff’s Office as a court bailiff. Then in December of 2005 our friends moved to Lincoln Hills. A few months later we came out to see them. I took one look at the ball field and that was it. Never one to let grass grow under our feet we found a house on Snap Dragon that had fallen out of escrow and bought it. I resigned from the Sheriff’s Department on May 24^th and Linda retired the next day from Stanford University where she worked with student insurance. We moved in on June 6^th. Thanks to Jim Datzman, I was on a team and playing the next Monday.”

Det. Towne: “Who’s this Datzman character?”

Moran: “Oh, he was the South San Francisco Chief of Police. I worked for him for 20 years. He’s also a fellow member of LHSSL, in fact, during the summer league he played on the team I managed.”

Det. Ales: “Do you think he could speak to your ability to be a LHSSL manager?”

Moran: “Probably.”

Det. Ales: “Do you have a phone number for Datzman?”

Moran: “Yes, it’s 555-5555.”

Det. Ales: “Thanks, we’ll give him a call in a minute. Do you contribute anything else to the LHSSL besides managing?”

Moran: “I’ll do anything, except being a board member. I tried that in another league. It was very frustrating for me. But I love managing (at last I can see my lineup in a game) and I have taken over the Thursday instructional league where I have several ideas for drills and activities to improve the play of those interested.”

Det. Towne: “Ok, Ales we can add impersonating a teacher to his list of offenses.”

Moran: “What’s with you? I’m just trying to help people.”

Det. Ales: “Are you now old enough to be satisfied sitting around in retirement?”

Moran: “No, there’s no sitting around. Besides working around the house and yard I’m in a spinning group at Kilaga (that’s cycling), I bowl in the Tuesday morning league and I play on the Coyotes as a non-roster player when they are short handed. I also play regularly on the Fremont CA. Olden Bears.”

Det. Towne: “And while you’re doing this, I suppose the little lady is cooking, cleaning and ironing?”

Moran: “Linda, not likely. She belongs to the Needle Arts group and is really into quilting. She also enjoys water aerobics, but her true passion right now is our first grandchild.”

Det. Towne: “This one’s going to be your first major leaguer?”

Moran: “Probably not, it’s a girl named Lauren.”

Det. Ales: “Do you plan to make a ball player out of her?”

Moran: “Just because at her baby shower I gave her the smallest, pinkest softball glove I could find doesn’t mean I’m going to force her to play ball.”

Det. Towne: “Now he’s trying to make us think he’s a really nice guy.”

Det. Ales: “Let’s give this Datzman guy a call and see what he has to say.”

Det. Towne removes her cell phone and makes the call.

Datzman: “Hello.”

Det. Towne: “Is this Jim Datzman and were you the Chief of Police in South San Francisco?”

Datzman: “Yes. Who’s asking?”

Det. Towne: “We’re detectives Ales and Towne investigating a guy named John Moran. We’d like to ask you some questions.”

Datzman: “Is that the John Moran that worked for me for 20 years?”

Det. Towne: “Yes.”

Datzman: “Hell of a nice guy, hard worker too. What’s this all about?”

Det. Towne: “We’ve arrested him for impersonating a LHSSL manager and he told us that you played for him the summer of 2007 and could speak to his ability to manage a team.”

Datzman: “He’s the best manager I ever played for. He’s knowledgeable about the game and overly fair to his players.”

Det. Towne: “What do you mean overly fair?”

Datzman: “You do know that he’s one of the top players in the league, don’t you?”

Det. Towne: “No, we didn’t know that.”

Datzman: “Oh yeah! You should see him throw a ball and he’s no slouch as a batter either.”

Det. Towne: “Let’s get back to the managing.”

Datzman: “Well, like I said, he’s a top player and he would sit out an inning so that his players could get more playing time. In fact, everyone took a turn sitting out to make playing time more equitable. He made everyone on the team feel like a valued member of the team. No negative stuff, all positive. He made us into a real team. Why he even sat out an inning during the playoffs! This guy is a real softball manager. Anyone that gets to play for him is one lucky dude or dudette.”

Det. Towne: “Thanks for you help.”

Datzman: “Anytime.”

Det. Towne: “Well, Ales, it looks like we got the wrong guy.”

Det. Ales: “Moran, you’re free to go.”

Moran: (chuckling) “Good luck ladies. I wish I could say it was nice to meet you, but I can’t.” And he walked out.

Det. Towne: “If he’s not the imposter, who is?”

Det. Ales: “We’ll just go down the list till we find him.”

Det. Towne: “Let’s check out that Miller fellow. He doesn’t look like a manager to me.”

Det. Ales: “I can’t place him. Which one is he?”

Det. Towne: “You know, the one that looks like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine and he doesn’t chew tobacco, spit or scratch.”

Det. Ales: “Well, you know you can’t tell a book by its cover.”

Mary and I took some liberties while writing this article, but all the biographical details are accurate. We hope you have enjoyed it because we will never do it again. It was too much work.